Matilda told such Dreadful Lies
It made one Gasp and Stretch one’s Eyes
Her Aunt, who, from her Earliest Youth
Had kept a Strict Regard for Truth
Attempted to Believe Matilda:
The effort very nearly killed her
And would have done so, had not She
Discovered this Infirmity.
For once, towards the Close of Day
Matilda, growing tired of play
And finding she was left alone
Went tiptoe to the Telephone
And summoned the Immediate Aid
Of London’s Noble Fire-Brigade.
Within an hour the Gallant Band
Were pouring in on every hand
From Putney, Hackney, Downs, and Bow
With Courage high and Hearts a-glow
They galloped, roaring through the Town
‘Matilda’s House is Burning Down!
They ran their ladders through a score
Of windows on the Ball Room Floor
And took Peculiar Pains to Souse
The Pictures up and down the House
Until Matilda’s Aunt succeeded
In showing them they were not needed
And even then, she had to pay
To get the Men to go away
It happened that a few Weeks later
Her Aunt was off to the Theatre
To see that Interesting Play
The Second Mrs. Tanqueray
She had refused to take her Niece
To hear this Entertaining Piece:
A Deprivation Just and Wise
To Punish her for Telling Lies
That Night a Fire did break out-
You should have heard Matilda Shout!
You should have heard her Scream and Bawl
And throw the window up and call
To People passing in the Street-
For every time she shouted ‘Fire! ‘
They only answered ‘Little Liar! ‘
And therefore, when her Aunt returned,
Matilda, and the House, were Burned.